In the most important interviews of their careers, Gary Condit sucked in his lips and stuck out his tongue, Bill Clinton touched his nose about every four minutes and Enron’s Ken Lay was overconfident. In each interview these men displayed nonverbal cues of deception. They lost their credibility.
In politics and public relations, losing credibility can be disastrous. The same is true in customer service. What can be learned from the mistakes of these public figures? Can you spot a liar? And more importantly, how do you avoid sending out the wrong signals?
There are up to 10,000 nonverbal cues packed in every minute of interaction. When someone is not telling the truth, their nonverbal behavior speaks volumes. Body language cues are undeniable although the underlying motivation and the interpretation can vary. Therefore you need to base your interpretation on a number of factors called deception cues. Knowing these cues can help you spot a liar and learn the body language cues to establish credibility.
NONVERBAL DECEPTION CUES:
• The Nine Months Pregnant Pause – Pauses
Liars use longer pauses, shorter answers and longer times in a response than someone who is nervous. Liars need that time to create the lie; recalling the truth is faster. If you ask a clerk if he gave you the correct change and there is a long pause before his response, it may be an indication of deceit. People tend to look up to the right to visualize or create a new response or down to the right to create the sounds of a new response. We recall information that occurred in the past by looking up to the left or down to the left. Be credible by answering spontaneously.
• The Hands Have it – Excessive Gesturing and Adaptors
When people lie spontaneously, they tend to spend more time gesturing with hands and using adapters, such as scratching their body or playing with a pen, than someone who is just nervous. Be credible by not fidgeting and keeping your gestures natural.
• Mind Your Mouth – Mouth, Lips, and Tongue Cues
Be careful of pursing or licking your lips. This behavior can indicate extreme anxiety as well as withholding information and may also be a sign of aggression. Tight lips indicate you may be planning to hold the truth in. To be credible, don’t lick or purse your lips and keep yourself hydrated with plenty of water.
• Be Still, My Love – Lack of Animation
Deception is all about keeping something hidden. The more a person moves his body or expresses with his voice and the more he speaks, the more we can learn. Be credible by making sure you are animated.
• Hand Jive – Hiding Hands
The hands come out symbolically from the heart; hands and arms symbolically express the emotions of the heart. It is not surprising that one of the first things we do to start a business interaction or close a deal is shake hands. My years of research show the most important factor in the handshake is palm-to-palm contact. Research also indicates that if customers don’t get this contact, they wonder what the other person is hiding and are less likely to purchase. Be credible by gesturing normally or by letting your hands hang loosely. Try not to clasp them together. Body language is highly symbolic, and clasping may look as if you are holding your own hands for comfort.
• I Want To Sell You A Car! – Excessive Confidence
Have you ever encountered a supersmooth salesperson? Perhaps, he or she over- enthusiastically praised the product, and you felt uncomfortable about the pitch. We look and listen for anything that doesn’t sound normal. Your instincts read fake at a hundred paces. Normal levels of confidence however, also read as sincere. Be credible by being your real self.
• Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina – Circumstances Not Matching Demeanor
One of the first things you look for when reading body language is the alignment of the circumstances with the demeanor of the person talking to you. Be credible by treating each person as an individual and being in the moment with them.
These days getting a front line service representative to love their job and enjoy dealing with the customers can be difficult. Attitude problems seem to be the norm. You can’t just tell them to smile. Employees need to be comfortable with their tasks and knowledge. Ask yourself, “Am I giving enough time to training and what am I doing to make the workplace friendly?”
Knowing these cues can help you decipher when someone else is being less than honest. Sometimes people say, “It’s all in your mind.” Now you know, “It’s all in your body.”
Patti Wood is the author of “Success Signals – Body Language in Business” and “People Savvy.” She can be contacted at 404.371.8228, or visit www.pattiwood.net.
