A pillar is defined as an upright support for a superstructure. Getting ahead in life is like building a superstructure – in order for the structure to stand securely it needs supporting pillars. Three are all you need and here they are:
Pillar #1: Get out of Your Own Way
The majority of people tend to get into a comfortable rut. However, predictable and stable are not factors that lead to success. Risk taking and instability are the keys to going from mediocre to stellar. Most people have a difficult time moving out of a comfortable situation and into one of insecurity. This is exactly what you have to do to become successful – get out of your own way.
The best way to do this is to take small steps towards a larger goal. There are four major areas that make up our comfort zones:
• Geographical: Where we live, work and play
• Personal: Our friends, family and co-workers
• Activity-Related: Our entertainment and hobbies
• Mental: What and how we think
Now, the trick to expanding one’s comfort zone is to not change all these areas at once. Try one or maybe two at a time, get used to that and then move on to the others.
Understand that expanding doesn’t mean getting rid of what’s already there. You can make new friends and not abandon the old ones. You can pick up a second hobby and still enjoy the first.
Pillar #2: Know Where You Want to Go and How to Get There
It’s easy to “Set goals.” It’s not so easy to set ones that are actually meaningful to you. We sometimes get so comfortable that we lose sight of what else there is to strive after. So our list ends up looking like everyone else’s New Year’s Resolutions: lose weight, exercise and spend more time with the family. We all know how successful these broad, half-hearted goals are – made on Jan. 1, forgotten by Feb. 1.
There are three factors that need to be put into play when setting goals:
• Set Your Own Goals: Don’t let others decide for you. If a goal isn’t meaningful to you, you won’t develop the enthusiasm needed to achieve it.
• Make Your Goals Concrete and Specific: Don’t just say you want to make more money. Set an exact amount and a firm time frame in which to make the goal.
• Determine What Effort is Required: If you don’t know what you need to do in order to reach a goal, it’s a wish not a goal. Be very clear about how much energy, time and resources are going to be needed to be successful.
Pillar #3: Stop Talking and Take Action
Deciding to move out of one’s comfort zone and setting the goals to get to new levels are the easy parts. Now comes the time for action. Too many times people stop after setting up the parameters for success and then never take another step.
• Don’t Announce Your Goals: Telling others only invites people who will tell you how hard it will be or why it can’t be done. Keep your goals to yourself to avoid all the naysayers.
• Never Move Backwards: Don’t let setbacks stop you. If things are temporarily going wrong, don’t use this as an excuse to retreat. Analyze what went amiss and what is needed to get back on track.
• Reward Yourself Along the Way: Break a large goal into many mini-goals. Once you achieve a mini-goal, reward yourself. This will help keep your enthusiasm high and give you many small successes leading to the big success at the end.
Establish these three pillars and you can accomplish anything you desire.
Eric Adler is a trainer and mastercoach in the fields of communication, motivation and mental training. He is an Austrian-based, best-selling author and Europe’s leading social competence expert who developed a unique method for measurable and verifiable personality development. A public study that consisted of 800 adults and teens documented that Eric’s unique form of personal development training had a very effective impact. His know-how is widespread in the licensing system in Europe, and he now issues licenses to trainers, speakers, coaches and consultants in the U.S., as well. For more information, visit www.asc12.com or e-mail adler@asc12.com.
