Over the years, I’ve learned that 85 percent of what you accomplish in your career and in your personal life will be determined by how well you get your message across and by how capable you are of inspiring people to take action on your ideas and recommendations. You can be limited in other respects – by education, contacts and intelligence – but if you can interact effectively with others, minute-by-minute and hour-byhour, your future can be unlimited. I am going to share with you some ideas, techniques and skills that you can use to accelerate your progress toward power communication.
But first, there are two major myths about communication that must be dispelled:
Myth #1: Talking is Equal to Communicating
The ability to talk is not the same as the ability to communicate. The ability to communicate is the ability both to send and to receive a message. The ability to communicate is the ability to make an impact on the thoughts, feelings and actions of someone.
Myth #2: Effective Communication is a Skill with which People are Born
Effective communication is not a skill that people are born with. Communication is a skill that you can learn. It takes time and practice, over and over. But if you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.
Communication requires both a sender and a receiver. The process of communication happens rapidly, and this same process takes place whenever two or more people exchange ideas. Probably 99 percent of all the difficulties between human beings, and within organizations, are caused by breakdowns in the communication process. Either the senders do not say what they mean clearly enough, or the receivers do not receive the message in the form in which it was intended.
ELEMENTS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
According to Albert Mehrabian, a communications specialist, there are three elements in any direct, face-to-face communication: words, tone of voice and body language. Words account for only 7 percent of the message, tone of voice accounts for 38 percent of the message, and body language accounts for 55 percent of the message. Your choice of words is important, but even more important is your tone of voice and your body language. The better you can coordinate all three of those ingredients, the more impact your message will have.
You’ve heard the saying that God gave man two ears and one mouth, and in conversation, you should use them in those proportions. The best communicators are excellent listeners. The worst communicators are continuous talkers. In fact, often the most important part of the message is the part that is conveyed by the pauses you make between thoughts and ideas. If you don’t give someone an opportunity to absorb what you’re saying, by pausing and waiting quietly and patiently, he will be overwhelmed by the continuous stream of thoughts and ideas, and often will distort the message and miss the point.
One of the most vital requirements for effective communication, especially with important messages, is preparation. Preparation is the mark of the true professional. The late Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant of the University of Alabama football team was famous for saying, “It’s not the will to win but the will to prepare to win that counts.” In all communications, the will to prepare in advance of talking and interacting with people is the key to achieving maximum effectiveness.
The best communicators do not use a lot of words, but they choose their words carefully, in advance. People appreciate straight talking. When you have a question or a concern, or you want something, come right out and say it without confusion or distortion.
In getting your point across, perhaps the most important word of all is the word ask. The most effective people are those who are the best at asking for what they want. They ask questions to uncover real needs and concerns. They ask questions to illuminate objections and problems that people might have with what they’re suggesting. They ask questions to expand the conversation and to increase their understanding of where people are really coming from.
You get people to do the things you want them to do by presenting your arguments in terms of their interests, in terms of what they want to be and have and do. You prepare thoroughly in advance of any important conversation. You think before you speak, and you think on paper. The ability to communicate is a skill that you can learn by becoming genuinely interested in people and by putting their needs ahead of your own when sending a message or asking them to do something for you. When you concentrate your attention on building trust, on the one hand, and on seeking to understand, on the other hand, you’ll become known and respected as an effective communicator everywhere you go.
Brian Tracy is the author of “The Psychology of Selling.” Special offer: To receive your free copy of “Crunch Time!”, visit www.briantracy.com and click on the Crunch Time! icon. He can be contacted at 858.481.2977
