Softball Guy

It’s that time of year again. The days get longer, the temperature rises a little and men and women everywhere come out of their winter slumber to swing what’s left of their youth at a large white ball.

That’s right kids, it’s SOFTBALL SEASON!

Since graduating from college, I’ve attempted to avoid softball leagues. There are a couple of major reasons for this:

1) I have better things to do than spend 12 weeks playing softball multiple days a week.

2) Softball Guy.

Of course, you guessed it; Softball Guy was a Jim Rome rant. Go ahead and scroll to the bottom for laughs. However, Softball Guy has existed since my dad played softball in the early 90s. I would imagine the particular guy was even around before him.

However, when I worked a weekly newspaper in Indiana I knew a lot of these guys. We wrote stories about these guys, and now … these guys are in your gyms.

They are a lot like Gym Guy. They aren’t in the gym to get their cardio on, or lift a little. No, they are training for the season. It’s a long season and if their batting average is going to top .620 this year, they’ve got to lift properly.

I’m sure these guys can get annoying. Listening to them discuss previous seasons with friends, or even worse, discussing how amazing they were 10 to 20 years ago in high school.

Regardless, Softball Guy can be a money pit. First, make sure your trainers are reading my blog. Second, have them target Softball Guy. This guy is easy to spot. He’s in your club wearing old softball shirts and a baseball cap. The softball shirt may even have the sleeves cut off.

Once they can easily target the subject, get Softball Guy signed up for some PT. Your trainers don’t serve regular PT — they help get people in shape for the season! Have them hint that they train other Softball Guys around town. Your target won’t stand for that, and he’ll pay X amount of dollars to out do the other guy and jack more HRs this season.

Remember, when approaching Softball Guy, it’s all about ego. Play to the man’s ego; make him feel like Derek Jeter, and you’ve got yourself some summertime personal training sessions.