Turning Prospects into Friends (Part 2)

You’ve got to Be Kidding Me!

Most people try to develop rapport strictly through finding similar likes, dislikes and history. The challenge is that we can “go on a fishing expedition about ones fishing expedition.” This search can implode as we unintentionally identify many areas in which we are different from our prospects. It becomes painstakingly obvious that we are trying in vain to make a connection. Haven’t you been engaged by an ill-informed “professional salesperson” who misunderstood you to such a degree, that they virtually made it impossible for a transaction to move forward? Do you believe you might have unwittingly done the same thing? The good news is you never have to do that again!

Your Words Tell Me One Thing, but Your Body Is Saying Another

Another barrier to building rapport strictly through content is the reality that only 7 percent of all communication is transferred by the spoken word. The remainder of our communication comes through the vocal qualities that comprise those words (38 percent) and the way we stand and move during the communication (55 percent).

Imagine attempting to influence someone who you do not yet have a relationship with, who you know very little about, and only being able to access 7 percent of your capacity to influence. Surprisingly, that is exactly what happens in most sales calls. No wonder so many new salespeople find the business so challenging. Realizing our commitment to be excellent influencers means we too must be committed to becoming world class at building rapport. This means we must be congruent with our communication.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Unconscious salespeople, also known as the masses, are so far inside their heads, they fail to notice, let alone connect with the physiology of the prospect. What this looks like is two people free dancing with their iPods. Just as such disconnected dancing rarely makes for a “love connection,” such a separate physiological response fails to engage the prospect and help them to feel understood. Great influencers, on the other hand, are empathic in their listening, which includes creating a physiological and vocal match with the prospect.

These are all variables that can be utilized to create either connection or separation with the client, at a subconscious level.

Physiological — Eye contact, fluidity, breathing, spacing, speed of movement, facial expressions, amount of touching, posture, etc.

Vocal — Volume, pitch, tonality, pace, melody, syntax, vocabulary, etc.

May I Have This Dance?

Depending on one’s mood and circumstance, we tend to either speed up or slow down the pace in which we communicate. For this reason, this pacing not only informs others of our energy level and frame of reference, it entrains us into the dominant emotion we are experiencing. This is great if those we are communicating with are currently in a productive state. However, this is not always the case.

For this reason, it is important to be able to enter one’s state by following the pacing of the conversation, and then to be able to elegantly shift to a pace that is more conducive to the outcome you desire. If you attempt to shift gears and the prospect fails to follow, get back into flow and realize you have not yet built enough rapport to lead.